AndMore (previously MyThoughts)...

AndMore....Brighter days ahead my ASS!!!!!!

I took a spill down the stairs a couple of weeks ago.  If the bump my ass took on each and every step going down was not enough, the rug burns along the way was the icing on the cake.  Oh but wait, there is a wall, an actual wall just 3 short feet from the last step.  Can't have my head jealous of all the pain, the last of the fall bounced me, face first to the wall.  That's ok, the excruciating pain from my ass prevented me from feeling it.

I crawled about a bit, swearing, cursing, crying.  I distinctly kept remembering that commercial "I've fallen and I can't get up".  At one point I just let myself lie on the floor, thank goodness the basement has carpet.  After some time I was able to get up although the shooting pain from temple to toe was unbearable.

At time for inspection I had a bruise so large it reminded me that my ass was large.  The only time I wished for a smaller one.  Skid marks of rug burns from mid waist to thigh, a warriors mark.  Tyson would be proud!

There's no mercy to be had in this family, so sucking it up and dragging my left side to complete the laundry was all that was on my mind.

I am woman, I am strong...

I decide the next day that I am better and should go to work, Monday morning...ahhhh.  People are at their worst Monday and Friday at the train station.  I board the light rail and realize that sitting is not an option.  The soreness (actually pain, but I am woman) would not allow it.  That's ok, I can stand the few minutes it takes to get to Newark Penn Station.

I am FIERCE!  I get there and wobble about to the stairs that will lead to the platform, the train that will take me to NY should arrive in a couple of minutes.  Crap, I don't remember these stairs being so long.  My ass feels as though it just walked away.  A cruel numbness was there, and my spine was now tingling as though trying to jump right out.  I am woman damn it, I can do this.  24 hours in labor to have a child.  HA!  This is a walk in the park.

I hear the train approaching.  SHIT!  I do a hop and wobble up, Quasimodo couldn't do this as fast.  I get to the door and a swarm of people come out.  I pray none aim at me.  Prayer answered.

10 steps to the train.  I can do this.  Please don't let the train leave, those conductors are sadists, they wait till you are near, to close the door and smile at you from the other side.

Crap and Shit, the gap!  I will have to do the leprechaun hop, that will hurt.  As I approached the train, along side of it, it's to my left, I can almost smell the warmth from the door.  I reach the side and grab the slim siding (that everyone assumes is there to help you up), when all of a sudden a passenger that probably JUST WOKE up and realized he had to get off, jumps out side ways and pushes me right into the door.  The only part of me that hit the door was MY ASS!

I screamed in pain.  I hopped off and that hurt so I screamed again.  I am not a woman, I am a fucking fetus and I HURT!  I hope that guy has a monitor fall on his penis and FLATTENS IT!  I am not strong, I am a FUCKING WUSS AND PROUD OF IT.  I decide I am going home.

One of the train cops comes along and tries to help me up as I landed somehow during my very public rant on my knees.  He walks me to their station (which is basically a small structure that eerily resembles a Port-a-Potty) and tries to convince me to sit.  After much going back and forth with "Ma'm, please sit down."  And my best Lucille Ball "BUT I CAAAAAAN'T.  He finally pieces the problem together, holds back a grin and asks where I am headed.

He gets me back to the rail.  I tell ya, going down those stairs was harder.  He walks me (nearly dragging at this point really, but why bitch now?)  to the rail that will lead me back to where I started and I stood in that rail, tears flowing, wondering when God will either forgive me or release my job as court jester.

My ass is still bruised, I still hurt if I sit too quickly and trust me when I tell you, when you hurt your ass, the rest of you just GIVES UP!

12/06/08